Oh, you knew this was coming, didn’t you? Don’t try to deny it. For every good superhero video game, there’s one incredibly awful, shameful, make-you-lose-all-faith-in-humanity superhero video game. Whether it’s bad graphics, broken gameplay, a weak story or all of the above, the video game industry has churned out some real stinkers over the years. Why is that though? Is it due to laziness on the industry’s part? Is it apathy? Or is it a simple case of “If we make it, they’ll buy it regardless of quality”? But do you know what I think the real reason is? Mutants from outer space come to eat our brains. But that’s just me, I’m weird like that. In any case, ours is not to reason “Why?”. Ours is to bitch and moan at the pathetic excuses for video games that we’ve been forced to endure. With that in mind, here is the top 10 WORST superhero video games ever!
DISCLAMER: This list is in no particular order and is my opinion only. If you don’t like it why don’t you write a letter? Not to me though, I have a crippling fear of postmen.
10. Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2
You may be thinking “I don’t remember Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 being all that bad”. Well, as a game on it’s own, it isn’t that bad. But as a follow up to the brilliant Marvel Ultimate Alliance? In that respect… it’s horrible. It’s a BAD sequel. So what’s the definition of a good sequel? You take the original themes, features and game-play and expand/refine them in order to explore new territory. This game fails in all these things!
The original game had about 25 characters available to play as. This one had about 20. The original game had a whole list of powers unique to each character. This one has 4. The original game had four alternate costumes or each character. This one had one alternate skin per character. The original had scores of different enemy NPCs for you to fight. This one had about 4 or five different enemy NPCs. The original had an original story that spanned the length and breadth of the Marvel Universe. This one takes a third of it’s story from Secret War, a third from Civil War, and the remaining third is a new story that pretty much dismisses the rest of the game.
All this game had going for it was better and more detailed graphics. It was the epitome of one step forward, three steps back.
9. Catwoman
Do I even need to explain this one? It’s a video game based off the Halle Berry film. And it was made by EA. Sometimes this stuff just writes itself. In fact, all of this game’s problems can be summed up in two words. Camera control. Or rather a lack thereof.
This game has a fixed camera mechanic, which wouldn’t be a problem if the camera was actually pointed in a helpful direction! Many a hapless gamer has found Catwoman plummeting to her death off a building due to their not being able to see where they’re supposed to go. I find being able to see my destination usually helps, EA! And although the graphics are quite strong, they can’t make up for terrible game-play, with a terrible camera and, lest we forget, terrible sounds. The sound quality is abysmal, making it the cherry on the litter box of awfulness that is this game.
As if the film wasn’t bad enough.
8. Incredible Hulk: The Pantheon Saga
Poor Hulk. He hasn’t had a great run with the video games, has he? Sure he had Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction but that can’t compare to the movie tie in or… the other movie tie in. And this game did not help matters.
For one thing, it has very little to do with the actual Pantheon Saga storyline from the Incredible Hulk comics! Why even call it “The Pantheon Saga” then? All it does is borrow characters from it. It doesn’t follow the story at all! As if that wasn’t bad enough, the game is notoriously difficult. So much so, that in “Hard” mode, it becomes impossible to beat the game. Not difficult. Not challenging. Impossible. The only way to beat the game on Hard is to use cheats! It’s that bad. Throw in some very poor graphics, horrible sound quality and, of all things, weak hit detection. That’s basic.
Who made this game? Edios? These are the guys who made Tomb Raider, the Deux Ex series and the Just Cause series. Shame on them!
7. Aquaman: Battle for Atlantis
Aquaman. I’ll just pause for a minute to let you finish laughing……… are you done? Good. Aquaman really is the whipping boy of the superhero universe. Namor the Submariner has more dignity than this guy. And he wears green speedos. This game tries, it really tries, to be good. But, I mean… it’s an AQUAMAN game! This seahorse was dead before it left the stable.
In this game, Namor can punch, kick, grab, has a fair few combo attacks, a couple of special attacks and the ability to call in sea life to aid him in battle. Sounds impressive, right? Well, it would be if just mashing the punch button over and over wasn’t enough to beat the game. It’s like having a Swiss army knife with all kinds of useful attachments, but one of them grants you unlimited wishes. Why would you use anything else? Added to that are some atrocious graphics, poor character design and unimpressive level design.
All in all, this game should have remained at the bottom of the sea where it belongs.
6. The Crow: City of Angels
It’s movie tie-in time again! And what’s worse than a bad video game based on a good film? A bad video game based on a bad film, that’s what! This game is based on the sequel of the same name to The Crow, which was panned to the utmost on it’s release. And this game follows in the footsteps of it’s namesake, being panned in equal measure. And with good reason.This game is BAD!
Not only is it very difficult to control The Crow, he looks bad while you’re doing it. The graphics are appalling, but not as bad as the gameplay, specifically collision detection. Limbs will pass right through enemy NPC’s when attacking and sometimes they will not even register a hit. That’s just not fair, game! This game comes to us from Acclaim Entertainment, who brought us the awful “Turok” series and the Batman and Robin video game tie-in.
As if this wasn’t enough to put them on trial for crimes against humanity, this is a company who’s business practices included promising to pay £5000 to UK parents if they named their child Turok, attempting to buy advertising space on tombstones and including pornographic content to a game about BMX biking in an attempt to boost sales. I vote we kill them. Who’s with me?
5. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Oh god, this game. This game… it’s… I PAID MONEY FOR THIS GAME ONCE! Real, actual, legal tender! Why? Why did I do that? It’s so crap it makes other crap look good! Do you want to know what makes this game so bad? I went through the whole thing in one day… and didn’t die ONCE! It wasn’t even on “Easy” difficulty. How is that possible? The game isn’t even that short, I just breezed through it, barely breaking stride.
This game also suffers from the same thing as MUA 2, less content than the original. Say what you like about the first Fantastic Four game, there was a lot to it. There were some cool levels and a wide variety of enemy NPC’s. Here the levels just go on and on, looking pretty same-y. I don’t even remember the enemy NPCs. I think some of them might have been Skrulls? I really can’t tell. And it all just blurs together into one big amorphous mass. Avoid like the plague, people!
4. Batman: Dark Tomorrow
Hee, hee! I get to make fun of Batman now! And at last he’s an easy target. Batman games of late have been ranging from “average” to “excellent” so it’s nice to be able to yank him back down to earth where he belongs. Although I can’t mock it completely as the story isn’t all that bad, with very good cutscenes and a decent story. Well I say that, there is one MASSIVE flaw in the story.
At some point before facing the final boss, who plans to blow up bombs placed all over the world, Batman must disarm a signal device or something. The thing is, the player is never told that they need to do that. And if they don’t then after beating the final boss he activates the bombs. This left many a gamer perplexed at how beating the game meant that millions of people died.
Throw in some dodgy camera angles, weak and repetitive missions and a game-play engine more confusing than why Batman’s main mode of transportation is a car. He can be defeated by heavy traffic! Come on!
3. Fantastic Four (1997)
Oh, boy. Fantastic Four do not get off lightly in this list, do they? We’ve gone from boringly easy to… what’s this? This game was made by… ACCLAIM ENTERTAINMENT?!? Not another one. No wonder it’s so bad! And, man alive, is it bad.
The worst part is the game tricks you into thinking it might be good. it’s not only a bad game, it’s a DEVIOUS game. You get to pick from any of the Fantastic Four plus She-Hulk, each of which have their own special powers. Then the game starts. The characters look awful and their animations look even worse. But the peak of terribleness comes in the form of the combat.
Ordinary punches and kicks take eons to do. Hell, controlling the characters takes just as much time. The response between the controller and the character onscreen takes it’s sweet time, I can tell you. It’s one of those games that becomes a chore to play. It’s not fun. And seeing as how “Games have to be fun” is kind of the main objective of any developer, I think Acclaim have failed momentously, don’t you?
2. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (NES)
Who doesn’t love the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? The UK censors apparently, as over here they were called Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles. But apart from them, we all love those pizza eating, weapon wielding, heroes in a half shell. Except for this game, which is infamous for its frustrating gameplay.
Not that it mattered much seeing as how over 4 million copies were sold upon release. How disheartening it must have been for all those bright faced youngsters when they got home, eager to play their beloved game, only to find that it would be easier to negotiate long term peace in the middle east. Especially if your favourite character was Raphael.
His sais have the shortest reach of any of the Turtles. Which wouldn’t be a problem if the game was in any way fair or reasonably challenging. It’s easier to survive in space without a suit than in this game! Some stages are borderline IMPOSSIBLE. Hell, in the PC ports of this game, there is one section where it is literally impossible to pass a level. Not very difficult, not exceptionally challenging… impossible.
Add incredibly poor controls and no save feature and you’ve got a game that simply doesn’t want to be played.
1. Superman 64
FEAR THIS GAME! SHUN IT! AVOID IT! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! This is a game that has been universally declared as “one of the worst games ever”! It’s been said that it: “…plays like someone made a big pile of models, textures, and programming routines and throw them all one by one into a whirling cement mixer”. It fails on every conceivable level.
The graphics are horrendous, the controls are vomit inducing and the gameplay as a whole makes me want to murder somebody. This game breeds serial killers, people! Added to that, the controls are so unresponsive that you’re more likely to crash when you’re flying Superman than you are to actually fly him. And the graphics? I said they were horrendous but the fact is you can barely see the graphics because the whole of Metropolis is covered in fog! And then there’s the frame rate. Oh, sweet merciful Zeus, the frame rate! They can go by so slowly it sometimes feels like a slideshow of Superman flying rather than an actual game. Like he wanted us to see his holiday snaps or something.
And then there’s the bugs. This game is more buggy than half the action scenes in Starship Troopers. It appears that Superman has acquired a new superpower. He now has the ability to go through solid objects for no reason! Throw in laughably broken AI, collision detection that is either on strike or being over enthusiastic and an overall experience akin to dental torture and it becomes clear why this game is infamous in it’s awfulness.
But what do YOU think? Think Aquaman has been unfairly maligned? Think we missed a crucial stinker off the list? Let us know!
