REVIEW: The Amazing Spider-Man 2

This article is heavy on spoilers- don’t read unless you’ve seen the movie or don’t mind finding out the plot!

The Amazing Spider-Man had its fair share of fans, but also a lot of detractors. Some felt it was too early for a reboot (and perhaps didn’t want to be reminded of the terrible Spider-Man 3), while others felt that the movie struck a nice balance between romance and superheroics. Regardless of how you felt about that movie, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (released a little early here in the UK) has a lot to live up to, not just from its own predeccesor, but from other Marvel stock like Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Where that sequel more than surpassed the original, however, the same cannot be said of The Amazing Spider-Man 2. Here’s my thoughts on the film.

I think I’ve become a little obsessed with film running times. I wasn’t always this way, but I watch more films now than ever before, both because of my work (on AP2HYC and elsewhere) and because it’s easier for me to get time to do it now. But I do need that time, and as a result, I notice when a film is long. I don’t have any issue with long films per se, but I do wonder who on the Spider-Man creative team decided that 2 hours and 22 minutes is an acceptable length for a film of such little substance. That’s right, it’s 142 minutes long. If you’re going with kids, bring a bucket. Usually, I wouldn’t mention the length of a film, because that kind of comment is pretty boorish- a sort of invitation for the reader to judge a book by its cover, so to speak. It implies that any film of a certain length is bad. But that’s not true! The problem is when the content doesn’t deserve that extra time, and boy, does The Amazing Spider-Man 2 need about an hour less.

We open with an incredibly atmospheric, exciting sequence with Peter’s parents, the elusive Mr & Mrs Parker. It seems Richard’s been hiding something, and is determined to get away with evidence of it on their plane; alas, as anyone who knows Spider-Man will be able to piece together, their story does not end happily, and their plane crashes. If you’re having trouble seeing how that will fit into the story of the film, don’t worry, it doesn’t. By my reckoning, about 45 minutes of the film is taken up with this plot line, and though it’s interesting in a way to see the history of Peter’s parents, it makes the film drag for two reasons. The first is that it’s ultimately irrelevant to the story- though I suspect it will play out in The Amazing Spider-Man 3 , or Sinister Six, or Venom, or whatever Avengers-inspired knock-off comes first. I’m not a fan of that sort of writing: it uses a legitimate sequel to essentially bankroll a threequel, by making you pay to see the exposition or first act of the next movie. Disney and Marvel are no strangers to this- watch Thor if you are wondering why Avengers Assemble doesn’t have a first act- but imitating them is supposed to bring joy to fans, not chaos!

The second reason why the “Peter’s parents” plot doesn’t work is that it takes some of the shine away from Spider-Man. Now, instead of just a lucky kid with a lot of pluck and some good messages about responsibility becoming a hero, it’s because his dad destined him to it. Great, another chosen one- exactly what the superhero genre needed! I’m not sure exactly which of the four screenwriters is to blame for this irrelevant 45 minutes, but I’d bet my bottom dollar it has something to do with Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman. These two gentlemen also gave us Star Trek Into Darkness, which if you remember correctly had an exciting but ultimately irrelevant opening followed by 30 minutes of content that actually didn’t advance the plot or characterisation. Sound familiar?

Forgive me for digressing from the main plot, where Electro is the bad guy (I’m just following the lead of the writers, who often seem to forget that as well). Jamie Foxx is the meek Maxwell Dillon, who, following an encounter with Spider-Man, becomes obsessed with him. After completely ignoring health and safety, Dillon finds himself in the sort of workplace accident that only happens in comics (he falls into a tub of genetically modified electric eels), gains electricity-related powers, and rechristens himself Electro. He meets his idol, Spider-Man, in Times Square- but when the wall-crawler doesn’t remember his name, he goes bezerk and tries to electrocute a bunch of people in the square. Yes, that really is his major motivation. (Fun fact: It’s Electro’s birthday during this scene, and he says ‘It’s my birthday, I’m gonna light my candles’ before electrocuting a bunch of people. Laugh through your tears.) Electro goes through a whole heap of trouble, and eventually develops the power to teleport around inside electricity, and climactically masters the art of fighting with dubstep. No really, I literally am not making this up, the final sequence involves Electro apparently creating dubstep as he flies around an electricity grid. Electro, Lord of Dubstep.

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Despite Foxx’s valiant efforts, even the best actor couldn’t save writing as bad as he deals with, and his character’s motivation is never quite compelling enough to be believable. The same is true of Harry Osborn (Dane DeHaan), who rushes an experimental treatment for his terminal illness and becomes the Green Goblin as a result. I can believe Harry’s desperation, because DeHaan is a great actor; but I can’t believe his stupidity. With two unconvincing villains, the film’s superhero strand fails to come together- a problem which the first film also encountered, in the under-motivated Doctor Connors (Rhys Ifans).

You might suspect I’m being overly harsh. In truth, there are some good things about the film. Running separate to the main superhero narrative is the love story between Andrew Garfield as Peter, and Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy. They have some incredible chemistry, and fans of the first film will be glad to know their shared scenes are as funny and romantic as ever. Granted, Peter does act like a dick to Gwen for a lot of the film- his main two emotional states are ‘Your dad told me not to date you’ and ‘You shouldn’t be allowed to professionally develop by going to Oxford’- but they are sweet when they are together. Apart from Peter stalking her for weeks when she breaks up with him, and her finding this cute. Hm. I guess dating is different in America?

In the third act, what little steam the film has dissipates. (I’m about to spoil the movie- if you want to know what happens, just see the film, or even watch the trailers, which give everything away). Electro plugs himself into the city’s power grid, and thanks to some quick thinking from Gwen, Peter is able to see off the villain. However, there’s another villain in play- the newly-mutated Green Goblin, Harry Osborn, who flies in and takes Gwen. Peter pursues valiantly, but is unable to save Gwen from falling to her death.

This moment is well known to any Spider-Man reader, and in contrast to the rest of the film, is incredibly well handled. The sudden dissolution of Gwen and Peter’s fierce love, believably grown over two films, deals a sound blow to the emotions and encourages the tearducts to do their thang. Emma Stone brings so much vitality to Gwen that to see her snuffed out is shocking, silencing, and unbelievable.

However, this isn’t enough to save the film, as its inclusion in a movie which is so erratic- in its approach, tone, characterisation, even musical genre of soundtrack- means it is ultimately worthless. We’re watching a movie where noted genius Peter Parker writes a post-it underneath a photo of his ex-girlfriend which reads ‘Can’t I have you as well?’. Where filmmakers are so pre-disposed to reading out subtext, theme and character, aiming at the lowest common denominator, there can’t be any true emotional connection. And that’s where this film felt false to me. I didn’t like The Amazing Spider-Man, but I felt it was Marc Webb‘s movie, and that it made sense in itself. It had his visual sense all over it, and a lot of heart. This film doesn’t feel like that, and it’s much worse off for it.

From the uneven and irrelevant plot, through the poorly characterised protagonists and boring villains, to the obligatory Avengers-esque sequel hooks, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is not worth the money you’ll pay to see it. Wait until it’s on DVD. Wait until it’s on Film4 and you can’t find the remote. Don’t reward this kind of lazy filmmaking with money you earned.