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Top 5 Reasons Why The Justice League Movie Is Going To Suuuuuck!

3. Zack Snyder

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Attention people of the known universe. STOP GIVING ZACK SNYDER WORK! He started off alright with300 and Watchmen. But once Sucker Punch came out there was no excuse. He’s just not that good anymore! Was he even that good to begin with? 300 was incredibly slight and stylish, but that’s all it was meant to be! Watchmen, meanwhile, pretty much divided fans as to whether or not it was a decent adaptation. I’d say at least he’s a good cinematographer but all he does is use constant slow mo and disorienting zoom shots.

I’m not saying he’s the worse director in the world, but DC could do better. Both he and Goyer are working on Batman and Superman so it seems as if these two have formed some kind of unholy duo that parents will tell their children of as a cautionary tale. “Go to sleep, or Zack Snyder and David S. Goyer will make a movie!” “Noooooo!”. All I can say is, I’m tired of Zack Snyder and I can’t help but think I can’t be the only one.

 

2. Brainiac? Seriously?

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Of all the villains they could have picked, this seems like an odd choice. Not the ODDEST. That title belongs to the aforementioned cosmic starfish. And not to say that he’s a bad villain, per se. It’s just… wouldn’t it be better to have a villain team up? A bunch of different villains come together, and only the Justice League could stop them! That seems much more cool. Say… Lex Luthor, Joker, Sinestro, Cheetah, Deathstroke and Ocean Master? Difficult to pull off, but if they did it? Whooo! What a film!

But no. Word on the street is, they are just going with Brainiac. Plus, the fact that the Justice League are going to be facing just one enemy who has a close, personal connection with one of their members, and will surely bring an invasion of earth using alien technology seems kind of familiar. Which brings us to…

 

1. Marvel Did it First

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I’ll admit this is kind of a no-win scenario for DC, but still… Marvel did it first! And you know the worst part? DC had been Ummm-ing and Ahhh-ing about a Justice League movie for years. They tried a few times, but it always fell at the first hurdle. But the second Marvel managed to pull it off and they saw how much money they made, DC immediately said: “Right, we’re gonna make a Justice League movie so we can get us some of that moolah!”. And they’ve been riding Marvel’s coat tails ever since! Even if the JL movie does turn out to be good (Which will never happen in a month of Sunday’s), I won’t even be able to respect it. Because they only did it because Marvel did it.

They didn’t decide independently to make it. They didn’t do it because they thought the fans wanted it. They didn’t do it because the time was right. They did it because they saw somebody else do it and they want to be part of the cool kids. Why do you think they’re rushing to get BvS: DoJ done so quickly? And the worst part? They can’t win! Because the greatest thing the film will ever be able to accomplish is being just as good as Avengers. And if that is the case, people will still look at Marvel more fondly because not only did they do it first, but they did it without trying to copy someone else! If DC had just WAITED a few years, and bided their time, people probably wouldn’t be comparing them to Marvel. But that is not the case. They had to do it right now and damn the consequences. Because it doesn’t matter if you make something great, if you’re just mimicking someone else.

 

But what do YOU think the Justice League movie will be like? Will it be like a thousand Phantom Menace‘s all rolled into one, or are you an idiot who thinks it’ll be good. What do you mean, “I’m biased”? Anyway, let us know in the comments or send us your thoughts on Twitter! *Knock knock*. Hmmm, I wonder who that could be? *Opens door*. OH CRAP, IT’S AN ANGRY MOB! BACK, DC FANS, BACK! STOP STABBING ME WITH THOSE PITCHFORKS!

About the author

Scott Meridew