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4 Reasons The Fantastic Four Reboot Will Suck

I always try to be optimistic about a new movie/TV show/book that’s coming out, no matter how bad it may seem. It’s hard to judge anything until you’ve at least seen a preview. However, for the first time in a while, I’ve found myself judging something without even watching a trailer. I’m just glad I’m not the only person who feels this way about the Fantastic Four reboot coming out in August 2015.

The original films released a few years ago were less than sub-par with very few redeeming qualities. Rather than continuing the series, it was decided that Fox would go with a full reboot and start fresh. At first, that sounds like a good idea. But as more news and details started to emerge about the film, the less optimistic I became. Here are four reasons as to why I think Fantastic Four will suck.

 

4. Fox

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When it comes to superhero movies, Fox is very hit-or-miss. The X-Men franchise has done fairly well despite some disappointments *cough* X-Men Origins: Wolverine *cough*. Fox ventured into other superhero territory with Daredevil back in 2003, and Elektra back in 2005, both of which were terrible. We already mentioned how Fox did poorly with the original Fantastic Four, and instead of giving the rights back to Marvel, the company decided to hold on to them so they could try to succeed with the reboot.

Which would be bad enough, but let’s not forget that this isn’t the first time Fox rushed a Fantastic Four just to keep the rights – the very first attempt, produced by Roger Corman, remains one of the worst films ever produced. Let’s just say it’d be better for everyone if the all the remaining copies of the film were buried never to see the light of day again.

So why try it again? Obviously, Fox doesn’t know what it’s doing with the Fantastic Four. At this point, they should just quit while they’re ahead.

Speaking of things best left buried…

3. Mole Man

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The members of the Fantastic Four have faced off against plenty of villains, most notably Doctor Doom. Don’t worry; they’ll be battling him in the new film as well, but there will also be an appearance of a character named Harvey Elder, who goes on to become Mole Man. Sounds like a blast, doesn’t he? I mean, who wouldn’t want to see the amazing and outstanding Mole Man. If you’re not familiar with this villain, it’s for a good reason. I consider him a second-rate Penguin with poor eyesight. Sure, Penguin works as a Batman villain, but it’s just odd to see him compare with the Fantastic Four.

Doctor Doom is really the only adversary (at least whose rights belong to Fox) who can prove to be a worthy opponent to the Fantastic Four. Oh, and here’s a fun fact: Harvey Elder will be played by Tim Blake Nelson. He originally played Samuel Stern in Marvel’s The Incredible Hulk, and it was strongly implied that he would return as the Leader in a sequel, but now it appears that Nelson has turned to Fox’s side and will no longer be involved in Marvel Studios projects since the two companies aren’t exactly on friendly terms.

 

2. Terrible Casting Choices

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Let’s do a quick role call for Fantastic Four. Playing the part of Mister Fantastic will be Miler Teller, a 27-year-old actor who appeared in such notable films as Project X and 21 & Over. The Invisible Woman will be played by Kate Mara from House of Cards and American Horror Story: Murder House. Next up, Jamie Bell from Jumper,  Snowpiercer, and, that’s right, Billy Elliot, as the Thing. Finally, the Human Torch will be portrayed by Michael B. Jordan from Friday Night Lights and Chronicle. Oh, and let’s not forget that the villainous Doctor Doom’s spot has been filled by Toby Kebbell from Prince of Persia: Sands of Time and Wrath of the Titans.

With the exception of Jordan, these casting choices all seem terrible. For one, the Thing, who’s the team muscle, is going to be played by Bell, who probably weighs no more than 10 lbs and looks like a twig. You’d think he’d pack on some weight for the film, but that hardly seems the case. A lot of people were also wary about Jordan and Mara playing siblings even though they are different ethnicities. For some reason, I was fine with this. After all, one of them could be adopted, or they could have mixed parents. Regardless, plenty of fans have shown outrage over this decision and are very unhappy with the casting decision. After seeing Jordan’s performance in Chronicle, I actually think he’s a good fit for the Human Torch, so the movie may have some good qualities in it after all. Aside from him, the others just seem like rather bland choices and none of them make the film more appealing.

1. Major Changes To Beloved Characters

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I’m okay with Human Torch and Invisible Woman being different ethnicities, and I can shrug off the fact that the Thing will be played by a lightweight actor. What I’m not happy about at all is the fact that they’re supposedly changing the entire origin story of the Fantastic Four, as well as Doctor Doom’s backstory. In the reboot, the Fantastic Four will not experience a cosmic storm that drastically alters their DNA and turns them into heroes. Instead, the team will be involved with a science experiment gone wrong (rumor has it the Negative Zone might be involved) and curses them with disabilities. So the movie is going to be about them “coping” with these disabilities. Honestly, at this point, I’m convinced that this movie was originally going to be a sequel to director Josh Trank‘s Chronicle, but they decided to slap on the Fantastic Four tagline to keep the movie rights and to make more money.

As for Doctor Doom, he’s not going to be the charismatic and sinister supervillain that we’ve come to know and love. Now, he’s reportedly going to be an anti-social programmer/blogger/coder whose name isn’t even Doom! It’s Victor Domashev (yes, I know his name wasn’t “Doom” in the Ultimate Marvel stories, but I’m not a fan of Ultimate Doom at all, especially the goat legs). But don’t worry – he’s going to be using “Doom” as his handle online. Yup. Doctor Doom has been reduced to an internet troll who prowls Reddit and spams YouTube comments with reasons why Ben Affleck will be a terrible Batman.

Like I said, I try to stay optimistic about films until I at least see a trailer. But with all of these changes being made to the Fantastic Four, it’s hard to keep a positive outlook. Maybe the film will be a hit? As for now, I’m not planning on rushing to the theater to see it.

What do you think? Will this movie turn out to be a hit or will it sink like its predecessors? Sound off in the comments or give us a shout on Twitter.

About the author

Alex Reale

From a young age, Alex knew he was destined to be a writer. He also harbored a deep infatuation with superheroes and comics. Luckily, he was able to combine these two passions through his role with A Place to Hang Your Cape, where he works as Junior Sidekick and Social Media Hero.

When he’s not writing for AP2HYC or working full-time as a content manager for a small business website, Alex is diligently at work on other creative projects including a fantasy novel collection and an independent comic series.

You can find Alex's first book, Dodger's Doorway, on Amazon!

8 Comments

    • Absolutely going to suck. Didn’t any one say to them “Uh…really stupid to make brother and sister different races unless they are step siblings…and…mega stupid to change the origins….add sucky actors and you have the sci-fi equivalent of Sharknado without it knowing it sucks and without the humor.

  • Not even going to bother with this movie. Should’ve just made everyone a giant space cloud and called it Star Wars.

    That was a reference to Galactus by the way.

  • Why even call it Fantastic Four? They do not in any way resemble the original comic book. Why not the 4 Young Gookazoids? Yeah, a waste of time. No original thought, just reboot, reboot, reboot.