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REVIEW: Constantine 1×07 “Blessed are the Damned”

Written by Nick Doblovosky

This series is quickly becoming one of the funniest shows on TV.

Wait a second…that can’t be right. This is a noir/horror show, right? Well, not anymore. I laughed more while watching this than I did throughout most of season four of Arrested Development. The show would be technically better if laughter was the desired result. The humorous scenes, that are not meant to be funny, are ridiculous to the point of seeming intentionally silly. Problem is, those scenes were not meant to be funny. A man running on all fours while growling was meant to be taken seriously. Corny, predictable dialogue, was meant to be taken seriously. This episode is quite enjoyable if you just think of it as a comedy: I had a blast.

John Constantine (Matt Ryan) and Zed (Angélica Celaya) travel to the south (why does almost nothing important happen outside of America in this show?) when a Pastor becomes semi-famous for performing miracles.

First of all, I would think that a man who can regrow someone’s leg, within just a few moments and in front of dozens of people, would become famous throughout the country. Instead, he is only known by conspiracy theorists that post articles online. That is basically the equivalent of John finding out about the Pastor by reading one of my reviews.

The writing is the worst part of the show. Some of the characters are only introduced in order to further the plot, such as the Pastor’s sister (who looks nothing at all like him). I’m going to spoil some stuff here, but if you actually care about that then you must be watching a completely different show. The Pastor is bitten by a venomous snake and is going to die, but he comes back after meeting an Angel and getting one of her feathers. The feather gives him magical healing powers and also grants him a forcefield. At one point he has an argument with his sister about his powers. He states that God gave him his powers to heal, while she argues that they don’t know where his powers came from and that he should stop healing people. His sister has a throwaway line about him not being the same since their father died. Later it is revealed (in what is a genuinely good twist) that the angel is actually a fallen angel. The half-assed part of the twist is that the Pastor had killed his own father: he was on his way to Hell when the angel met him, not Heaven. So the character of the sister was only put into the story to pull off a cheap twist. The part with the angel was a good twist, but the throwaway lines about the Pastor killing his father were awful. Not once is his father mentioned again.

Blessed are the Damned did have it’s good points. The humor (that is intentional) works well. The angel, Manny (Harold Perrineau), finally intervenes to help John. Though, he has technically been breaking the rules by just speaking to John, but ripping out the heard of a fallen angel is a cool way of showing just where the line is.

Overall an enjoyable episode, just not a good one. The good thing is that the bad scenes come off as funny instead of cringeworthy.

Final Grade: C-

What did you think of this episode? Did you find the bad scenes humorous? Do you think this will be one of the NBC shows that gets canceled? Sound off in the comments or send us your thoughts on Twitter!

About the author

Nick Doblovosky