Top 10 Fictional Spaceships

Soooooo. The trailer for Star Wars: The Unnecessary Sequel That Disney Are Only Making So That All Their Executives Can Each Have Their Own Vault Of Money To Dive Into Like Scrooge McDuck is out, a year before the film is due to be released. *Unenthusiastically* Yay. At this point, Disney are basically conductors, shoving us onto the hype train. Make no mistake, I love Star Wars but… we don’t NEED it, guys! I mean, I hope the film is good. I want it to be good! But it’s just so not needed it hurts! Still, it was pretty cool to see the Millennium Falcon again.

And it got me thinking. There have been so many iconic spaceships out there that have captured our imagination over the years. Wouldn’t it be cool if someone were to compile a list of some of the best spaceships the world of fiction has ever made? And then I realised: “Holy crap! All I ever do is make lists of stuff! It’s basically my raison d’etre, aside from sending hate mail to DC and whatever soulless Ringwraith is running Disney at the moment.”.

So here’s a list of the Top 10 Fictional Spaceships. You can thank me later.

DISCLAIMER! The following is my own personal opinion. If you don’t like it, then you should sit in the corner and think long and hard about what you’re doing with your life.

10. Eagle 5 (Spaceballs)

May the Schwartz be with you! There are epic Science Fiction films, and then there are epic Science Fiction Parody films! Yes, Spaceballs is a classic comedy, and whilst I considered putting Spaceball 1 on this list I decided to go with Eagle 5 for two reasons. One, introducing Spaceball 1 would take a long, long, long, long, long, long time (Geddit? Oh, just watch the movie!). And two, if you had to pick one of the two to have, we’d all pick Eagle 5, right? I mean, it’s a spaceship that’s a motorhome! That’s the dream!

Piloted by the intrepid Lone Starr and Barf, the Eagle 5 was based off of a 1986 Winnebago Chieftain 33 and believe me, it has all the mod cons, as well as the ability to traverse a giant robot’s head. It was a cool joke, and an even cooler idea for a spaceship. *Looks at the audience* Everybody got that?

9. Red Dwarf (Red Dwarf)

♫ It’s cold outsiiiide, there’s no kind of atmosphere, I’m all alone, more or less. Let me flyyyyyyyy, far away from here. Fun, fun, fuuuuuun, in the sun, sun, suuuuuun. ♫ Heh. I’ll never get bored of that song. Yep, it’s the Jupiter Mining Corporation ship Red Dwarf which stands out as probably being the largest spaceship on this list, with it being 6 miles long, 4 miles tall and 3 miles wide. Controlled by a senile computer program called Holly, Red Dwarf was lost in space (Wow. That phrase sounds like a good idea for a campy TV series and a stupid movie starring Gary Oldman) for millions of years.

Currently, it’s occupants include the last human in existence, Dave Lister, a humanoid cat, named Cat, an android, Kryten and a hologram, Arnold Rimmer. The fact that the ship is so big allows for a lot of useful sections of the ship that you couldn’t get on smaller vessels, such as botanical gardens, karaoke club and a wine bar. The ship has enough food to last 30,000 years but there is only one After Eight mint left and everybody is too polite to take it.

8. The Bebop (Cowboy Bebop)

♫ I think it’s time to blow this scene. Get everybody and their stuff together. Three, two, one, let’s jam! ♫ There’s another theme song that’s gonna be stuck in my head. Arguably one of the best Anime ever made, Cowboy Bebop kind of defies description. And I’ve tried! I’ve tried describing the series to people who have never heard of it or don’t know what it’s about and nothing I say does it justice. Just saying “It’s about these bounty hunters in space.” doesn’t even begin to cover it!

But what about the Bebop? A lot of people would say that it’s not as important as the characters or even the overall themes of the series. Well, I think it’s more important than you’d think. See, all the main characters are bounty hunters but they were all something different before that until they experienced some kind of trauma and ended up on the Bebop. Except maybe Ein the super intelligent Corgi, he was always just a Corgi. You can see why I have trouble explaining this show.

The point I’m trying to make is that the Bebop itself was once something different. Apparently it was an interplanetary fishing trawler before one of the characters, Jet Black (No, really, that’s his name), bought and repurposed it. It’s this theme of change and renewal that manifests in all the characters, including the ship, that makes it so important. That, and it looks wicked cool!

 

7. Galactica (Battlestar Galactica)

I debated whether or not I should put the Galactica on this list or the Colonial Viper fighter. But since the name of the Galactica is in the flipping title, I guess it makes more sense. Not to mention the fact that I don’t really care about Battlestar Galactica. It’s true, I just don’t care! I did try to get into the 2003 series after I noticed a disturbing amount of my friends use the word “frak” (I thought they were talking about oil or something at first), but I lost interest after the 3rd time it was revealed that a character was a Cylon. Was nobody on that bloody ship human? Was anybody ever human? Am I human? SEE WHAT THIS SERIES IS DOING TO ME!

So, the Galactica. Now, there are technically two versions of it. The original one from the 70’s and the 2003 version. They both look different and have different systems plus other technical aspects so it’s difficult to get an anchor on what makes the Galactica so special. But there is one thing that they both have in common. They are both the hope of the human race. The premise of both series is that humanity is nearly wiped out by the Cylons and the survivors all end up on the Galactica. It’s a home to hundreds and the fate of the human race rests on it. I’d say that makes it noteworthy, wouldn’t you?

 

6. SSV Normandy SR1 (Mass Effect)

I don’t know about you, but I cannot WAIT for Mass Effect 4! IwantitIwantitIwantitIwantitIwantitIwantit! The only thing that keeps me from going mad was replaying the old Mass Effect games (I can’t believe that they can now be classified as “old”!). And I remembered how attached I’d become to the Normandy. I liked the SR2, sure. But there was something about the original Normandy. It felt nice to get back on board after a mission, chat with Joker, check up on Liara and Kaiden, go down to the lower decks to sell my junk to the requisition officer, and completely ignore Ashley because she was an angry, alien hating, poetry spouting, pillock who I was quite happy to send to her death.

That was the great thing about the Normandy, it wasn’t just a top of the line, prototype, stealth frigate. It was MY top of the line, prototype, stealth frigate. It was a home. A place to hang my hat. Full of friends and comrades and… Ashley. And when it got blown up at the beginning of Mass Effect 2, a part of my heart died with it. Okay, this is getting too melodramatic. What’s next on the list?

 

5. Thunderbird 3 (Thunderbirds)

OH HELL YEAH! THUNDERBIRDS ARE BLOODY GO! You know what the great thing about Thunderbirds was? It had a kind of universality to it. My Dad grew up watching it in the 60’s, and I grew up watching it in the 90’s! Doesn’t matter when you were born, or who you are, who doesn’t love Thunderbirds? That is to say, the original series not the 2004 film version directed by Riker off of Star Trek: The Next Generation who completely missed the point to the show, made Alan a teenager, gave Brains a son (Seriously, who’d have sex with BRAINS?), redesigned the Thunderbird vehicles, didn’t consult Gerry Anderson, and earned himself a space on my hit list. YOUR TIME WILL COME FRAKES! I WILL HAVE VENGEANCE!

Anyway, piloted by Alan Tracy, Thunderbird 3 was International Rescue’s single stage to orbit space vehicle designed for rescue missions in space and maintaining the systems and crew of Thunderbird 5, their space station. Despite only appearing eleven times, three of which to rescue somebody, it’s still just as recognisable and beloved as the rest of the Thunderbirds.

 

4. Serenity (Firefly)

Man, do I even need to tell you how awesome this ship is? Or this show for that matter? It’s bloody, rutting, cheong bao ho tze, tai kong suo you di xing qui dou sai jin wo de pi gu FIREFLY! For the characters of Firefly, Serenity is a source of income, a home, and a way of achieving freedom. Originally no longer flight worthy when Mal Reynolds purchased her after losing the War of Independence at Serenity Valley, the ship was something of a fixer upper. But with a lot of love and hard work, the crew managed to get her flying.

One of the surprising things about Serenity is that, despite having a crew of criminals on board, she has no weapons. So the crew have to get by on their wits and skill. Able to hold a maximum of 23 people, as well as a maximum cargo of 74,797 kilograms, Serenity is a smugglers dream, with many nooks and crannies for illicit contraband. What else can you say about this ship, except… ♫ I don’t care, I’m still free. You can’t take the sky from meeeeee! ♫

3. The Tardis (Doctor Who)

YES, IT COUNTS! Sure, the Tardis is a time machine, but it also functions as a spaceship. Remember, it’s Time And Relative Dimensions In SPACE! It can travel in both time and space so shut up! Also known as a Type 40 time machine, the Tardis was originally an outdated machine that was in a museum, until a Time Lord called the Doctor stole it. The Tardis has many features, most notably the fact that it appears as an old police box. This is because Tardis’s have a mechanism known as a chameleon circuit, which allows the exterior of it to appear as anything, making it blend into its surroundings. So when the Tardis landed in 20th century England and the chameleon circuit broke, it remained stuck as a police box.

And let’s not forget that it’s bigger on the inside! Due to some dimensional… wibbly wobbly, timey wimey… stuff, the interior of the Tardis is huge. I’m not sure anybody knows exactly how big. There’s space for a library, a swimming pool, a fabulous walk in wardrobe… you get the idea. Oh, and did I forget to mention that it’s alive? Yeah, the Tardis is technically organic and sentient! And it’s a she. I’ll just let you think about that for a moment.

 

2. USS Enterprise NCC-1701 (Star Trek)

“Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise. Its five year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where no man has gone before.”. Yep, we couldn’t do an article about Spaceships without including this one! One of the most iconic images is Science Fiction, everybody knows the Enterprise. Even if they aren’t that familiar with Star Trek to begin with! Captained by James T. “KHAAAAAAAN” Kirk, the Enterprise was originally on a five year mission of deep space exploration, providing first contact with many alien races.

Other crew members include Dr Leonard “Bones” McCoy, Engineer Montgomery “Scotty” Scott, Vulcan Science Officer Mr. “Bilbo Baggins” Spock, Communications Officer “Fan Dance” Uhura, Helmsman Hiraku “Ohhhhhh Myyyyyy” Sulu, Navigator Pavel “Nuclear Wessels” Chekov, and an untold number of dead or soon to be dead Redshirts. Seriously, if you’re on that ship, are not an officer, and are wearing red, your arse is grass!

 

1. Millennium Falcon (Star Wars)

IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL! Oh the majesty! Oh the elegance! Oh the marketability of it all! Yeah, let’s face it, if you could fly any ship on this list, you’d pick this baby, wouldn’t you? Admit it! A YT-1300 light freighter with a past more chequered than a chess board, the Millennium Falcon holds the distinction of completing the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs. And I know that you’re thinking. “Isn’t a parsec a unit of distance, not time?”. To answer your question: *SLAP*! NEVER QUESTION THE INTEGRITY OF THE MILLENNIUM FALCON AGAIN!

Piloted by intrepid smuggler Han Solo and his first mate Chewbacca the Wookie, the Falcon has been from one side of the galaxy to the other. It was present at the destruction of the Death Star, both at the Battle of Yavin and the Battle of Endor, narrowly escaped the Imperial invasion of Hoth, and was successfully flown through an asteroid field. Holy Force Ghosts! I guess Solo said it best: “She may not look like much, but she’s got it where it counts, kid.”.