Age of MCU: 6 Reasons It Would Suck To Live In The MCU

Ahhh, the Marvel Cinematic Universe! Since 2008, we’ve enjoyed watching some of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes fighting against the forces of evil. Sometimes they fought alone, and other times they’ve banded together to form an unbeatable squad of superhumans. That is the glory of the MCU – it allows us to relish in cinematic beauty with amazing effects, outstanding characters, and intertwining storylines.

Now let’s look at Marvel Cinematic Universe from a different perspective. While the MCU makes for great entertainment, it would be an absolute train-wreck trying to live within said universe, and here’s why.

6. You Might Never Meet Your Heroes

Let’s assume you were plucked out of your normal life and thrown into the Marvel Cinematic Universe. As of now, there is only a handful of superheroes, all of whom are scattered across the country (and galaxy). What are the chances that you’d actually see Iron Man or Captain America in action, let alone meet them? You know how difficult/expensive it is to encounter celebrities? Imagine multiplying that by 1000 if you want to meet superheroes, especially the ones who live on other worlds or have gone into seclusion. The most you’ll probably ever get to see of the heroes is grainy camera-phone footage on YouTube.

5. You Might Meet Your Heroes

When you think about it, do you really want to see your heroes? It’s one thing to run into Tony Stark while he’s grabbing a bite to eat at Sbarro’s; it’s another to catch the Hulk rampaging through Harlem. Usually, when you spot a superhero, there is bound to be a villain close behind. Even when there is no villain, a superhero in full costume is no laughing matter. Just look at what happened in Iron Man 2. Tony Stark throws a party, which sounds like something I would love to attend, and out of nowhere, an armored-suit-fight breaks out between him and Rhodes, which sounds like something I would NOT love to attend. Sorry, but I saw what those suits can do. You can bet I’d be the first person out the door as soon as AC/DC came on over Iron Man’s speaker system.

4. You’re A Helpless Bystander/Victim

Remember what I said earlier about there only being a handful of superheroes in the MCU (so far)? You have a very slim chance of becoming a hero. That means you’re just another bystander/victim. As your city is being torn apart, you can’t do anything but run and hide. Is a Chitauri soldier about to blast you away? You better hope Iron Man is close by or else you’re a goner. Want to stand up to Absorbing Man? Pray that a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent comes to the rescue. You are virtually helpless in the MCU. You could try to fight back but…

3. If You’re Going To Fight, You’d Better Be Good

Just because you don’t have powers does not mean you can’t be a hero. Look at Hawkeye and Black Widow. Look at any of the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. They’ve made names for themselves despite their lack of superpowers (or interesting characterization). However, if you want to stand a chance in an MCU fight, then you better bring some skills to the table. What Black Widow and Hawkeye lack in powers, they make up for with various abilities. Can you outrun an out-of-control Hulk? Are you a super genius who can create gadgets to aid you in battle? If you answered “no” to these questions, then it might be in your best interest to sit this one out.

2. You Can’t Trust Anyone

Trust goes out the door in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. There are two levels of trust within the MCU. First, you have the HYDRA operatives working within S.H.I.E.L.D. You thought this organization was looking out for the planet and attempting to keep you safe? Guess again! Turns out it was sabotaged by a superhuman Nazi sub-division. Then, there’s the level of trust among your close friends and family. With Daredevil coming along, it’s established that there are superheroes with secret identities in the MCU. The chances are slim, but how can you be certain that one of your friends or family members isn’t the masked man swinging across the rooftops in the dead of night? Or what if you’re the vigilante keeping the secret? Personal relationships must be excruciating in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

1. Your Survival Depends On Your Popularity

At the end of the day, it’s the Marvel CINEMATIC Universe. That means that even if you were to become a character in this dimension, you are still part of a cinematic experience. What drives cinema? You guessed it: the audience. If the audience doesn’t like you, you’re gone. If you caught their hearts, then you might live. Look at Phil Coulson – he was killed off in Avengers Assemble only to be brought back in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.. He was part of the lucky ones. In Avengers: Age of Ultron, the major rumor going around is that Rhodey/War Machine is kicking the bucket, mainly because he’s such a lackluster character who nobody really enjoys. If Hawkeye wasn’t already confirmed for Captain America: Civil War, I would’ve put my money on him getting killed off, all because of how much fans dislike him. We the viewers are like Caesar giving the thumbs down to unfortunate gladiators and subjecting them to their deaths.

As I’ve stated before, the Marvel Cinematic Universe is great for entertainment, though I doubt anyone would actually want to be a part of it. Maybe if I knew I had a better chance of becoming a superhero, or I had some marketable skill, then I’d suit up and fight with the Avengers. For now, I’ll watch Earth’s Mightiest Heroes protect the planet from the safety of my living room.