Top 7 Superhero Cars

So Furious 7 is out right now, and… seriously? They made seven of these? We’re still waiting for them to make a Dredd sequel and there’s SEVEN Fast and Furious movies? I… I… I’ll rant about that another day. Right now, it’s time to pay homage to a bizarre, but reoccurring theme in comics: superhero cars. Yep. This is a much beloved trope in comic lore, in which a superhero takes to the streets in their own personal hot rod.

Other superheroes have taken different approaches to their choice of vehicles, like Wonder Woman’s invisible jet, the X-Men’s Blackbird, or Superman’s Supermobile, (No seriously, that was a real thing. Look it up. I’m not joking. I wish I was.) but we’re going to look at the road bound vehicles that found a place in our hearts. Despite the fact that most of these could be stopped by rush hour traffic. What, you think Metropolis never gets gridlocked? You naïve fool.

DISCLAIMER! The following is my own personal opinion and thus should be revered and conformed to by everyone on planet Earth. You don’t like it, go live on Mars.

7. The Flashmobile

I know what you’re thinking. “But Scott, why would the Flash need a van?”. Well, Green Lantern thought the very same thing. And I think we can all agree… it’s best if we never find out. *Shudders*. Yep, in an episode of Justice League, Wally West films an advert for an energy bar in order to get money to buy “the Flashmobile”.

Green Lantern isn’t very happy that he used his superhero celebrity for financial gain. But Wally dismisses his objections and instead suggests they use the van for a road trip. You can guess what GL’s answer was. It’s a shame though. I can imagine them doing, like, a Sideways thing. Wouldn’t that be cool?

6. The RadBug

You probably don’t have any idea about which superhero had a car called “The RadBug”. So get ready, because I’m about to blow your minds. Are you ready? *Deep breath*. The Power Rangers. Whaaaaaaaaat? I know, right? Mind = Blown.

The RadBug was a flying Volkswagen beetle that Billy the Blue Ranger invented. Apparently, it stands for Remote Activated Drivingzord for Basic Ultra Geomorphology. Wow. That… was a stretch. I’ve seen some bad acronyms in my time but geez! The Rangers used the RadBug when they found that they couldn’t teleport to the command centre. It can go from 0 to 3000 mph in less than three seconds. Which pretty much makes Billy the greatest engineering genius that ever lived. Go figure.

5. The Spidermobile

Everybody remembers this monstrosity, right? There was something unique about it though, compared to other superhero vehicles. See, it was never intended as anything other than a joke. Spidey was approached by an advertising company that represented a car manufacturer that had developed a non-polluting car engine. Someone alert Al Gore!

They wanted Spider-Man to help them develop a Spidermobile for promotional purposes. And he, of course, laughed in their faces. But he eventually agreed, being strapped for cash, and the car was made. And man, did it look ridiculous. It didn’t help that Peter never actually got his drivers license, seeing as he could just web sling wherever he needed to go. And what eventually happened to the car? It was destroyed, but not before being dumped in a river. A fitting end, if you ask me.

4. The Hell Cycle

I know it’s not a car, but I’m counting it so shush! Yep, it’s Ghost Rider’s main method of transportation. It also looks BLOODY COOL! There’s just something about a motorcycle on fire… it’s just so badass! The Hell Cycle has gone through a few changes over the years though.

Initially it was just Johnny Blaze’s bike. Then it was a bike made of hellfire that the Ghost Rider could conjure up. Then Danny Ketch had one with a sort of battering ram on the front.

Side note: anyone think GR’s due for a reboot? C’mon Marvel! You’ve got the rights back! If you can redo Daredevil you can redo Ghost Rider!

3. The Fantasticar

Shut up! I know it can fly, but it’s called the FantastiCAR! I write the list, I decide what gets picked. You think the disclaimer at the top is just for fun? Get over it! Seeing as three quarters of the FF can’t fly, it made sense for Reed Richards to invent a vehicle that would get them places quicker. Which begs the question, what did they do before? Hail a cab?

In any case, the initial design of the Fantasticar wasn’t the best. It looked like a flying bath for goodness sake! Still, later redesigns gave it a much better look. And since then, people have taken it a bit more seriously. Hell, it’s inclusion in Fantastic Four: Rise of Jessica Alba’s Creepy Blue Contacts was one of the few good things about that film.

2. The Black Beauty

Oh God, is that car sexy! Just look at it! It’s so sleek and awesome! It’s the kind of car that other cars are jealous of! It should be on the cover of Vogue! I WANT ONE! But seeing as how when the Green Hornet TV series first aired, the car, a 1966 Imperial Crown sedan cost $50,000 (Which in real money is about £34,ooo) to fully customise, I think it might be a little out of my price range.

In addition to being Britt Reid’s main method of transportation, The Black Beauty has two cartridge-fed, hood-mounted retractable .30 caliber M1919 Browning machine guns, FIM-92 Stinger missiles in the front, a M2 Flamethrower, M2 20-gauge shotguns loaded with non-lethal munitions rifles, AIM-92A Stinger missiles in the back, trunk mounted .30 Caliber M1919A6 Browning machine guns, and two retractable front wheel anti-riot spikes.

Hot damn.

 

1. The Batmobile

Ugh. I really, really, really, REALLY didn’t want to put this one in the number one spot. The Black Beauty deserves that honour. But the Batmobile is too famous for it’s own good! It’s a cultural phenomenon. I can’t not! Damn you all! So yeah, the Batmobile. From the red and black version of the 60’s TV show to the Tumbler from the Nolan films. It’s permeated the Zeitgeist in an unprecedented way.

Even if you’ve never seen the films, or read the comics, you KNOW what the Batmobile is. Why though? Why would this vehicle, above all others, be so immensely popular and well known? Buggered if I know. Maybe it’s because Superheroes are generally thought of as larger than life. We see them flying through the air or web slinging like Tarzan. But a car? That’s down to Earth. But it’s such an impressive car that it transcends the mundane. It’s both grounded AND fantastical.

I still prefer The Black Beauty though!