3. Inappropriate Women
From Sean Connery‘s semi-consentual fondling of sauna attendants to Roger Moore‘s frankly terrifying night with Grace Jones, Bond has always gone above and beyond the call of duty to push romantic boundaries. Spectre looks to continue that proud tradition with octogenarian Monica Bellucci and barely legal Lea Seydoux fighting it out in a MILF vs jailbait age-inappropriate bonk-off. Still, as part of Craig’s pre-shoot workout seems to involve being beaten to within an inch of his life with an (MI6 approved) ugly stick, it stands to reason that he would cast need to his net a little wider than, say, Pierce Brosnan. Reports that Honor Blackman will be reprising her role as Pussy Galore are unconfirmed.
2. A Villain Who Resembles (But Isn’t) Blofeld
Wee can aaall doo thurr voice off Christoph Waltz. Look, you’re doing it now with no prompting whatsoever. An amazing character actor who, like his predecessor Javier Bardem in Skyfall, has the requisite menace and charisma to don the mantle of Bond villain. Moreover, word has it that Waltz will be playing a new incarnation of Ernst Stavro Blofeld, a role made famous by Donald Pleasance (and, um, Telly Savalas). Waltz strenuously denied the Blofeld rumour, explaining that his character’s name is “Franz Oberhauser” – apparently the son of Bond’s skiing instructor. We’re not sure how this forms grounds for revenge. Maybe Bond was sloppy on his parallel turns? Not that Waltz needs much motivation to be eeevil – he’s always worth the price of admission.
1. A Director Of Quentin Quality.
Seriously though, Mendes is a real filmmaker who cares about the work he does. From American Beauty through Road To Perdition to Away We Go, Mendes has proven that he is prepared to put storytelling before franchise concerns, product placement or tie-ins (Can’t imagine there’s much market for a limited edition maquette of Maya Rudolph‘s foetus anyway). Connery made no secret of his wish that Quentin Tarantino would direct a Bond movie. While Mendes is no Tarantino, he is at least a credible artist, with a fresh take on the legend. The willingness of reputable Shakespearean actors Ralph Feinnes, Ben Whishaw and David “Drax” Bautista to be part of the film attest to a director with serious intent to deliver something new. In interviews, Mendes has explained his plan to explore the defining, childhood years of a character who thrives in an environment of enforced secrecy. Hopefully, Spectre will live up to or, even better, complete the genesis narrative of Skyfall and give us a classic end to Craig’s tenure as Bond.
Oh yes, and there will probably be some cool elbow fights too.
But that’s just us. What are your thoughts on Spectre and the current incarnation of 007? Sound off in the comments!
