♫ BADAM Dum BADAM Dum… DA DA DA DUM!♫ That’s the James Bond theme. Obviously. Hey, it’s not easy to write down an instrumental theme in actual words! You try it! The point I’m trying to make is I am hyped for Spectre!
Yep, it’s the fourth Daniel Craig Bond movie and if it’s anything like Skyfall, it’ll be awesome. But with the possibility of it being Craig’s last outing as 007 becoming more and more apparent, I feel it’s important to reflect back on some of his greatest moments so far. So here’s the best of Bond (at least Craig’s Bond. We haven’t forgotten you Connery/Brosnan/Moore/Dalton/the other one that we always forget… um… it’s on the tip of my tongue… LAZENBY! Yeah, George Lazenby. I got there in the end. Wow, this is a very long bracket.)!
DISCLAIMER! The following is my own opinion. If you think any opinion other than your own is stupid, then hello Mr Trump! Zing!
6. Catching the Train…Like a BOSS!
The scenario. You’re chasing after some bad guys. They get on a train. You can’t get on the train. But there is a digger thingamajig on the end of it. What do you do? You use the digger to tear a hole out the end of the train, get out of the digger, run on top of it, and jump into the back of the train.
But wait! You’re James Bond, remember? You can’t just jump onto the train in such a pedestrian manner! You must straighten your jacket when you land, lest your appearance be even a little unkempt! And thus, your induction into the Hall of Badass Entrances is assured. They’ll give you a spot right between The Terminator and Rowdy Roddy Piper.
5. Hardcore Parkour
What’s better than a fight scene? A sex scene! What’s better than a sex scene? A chase scene! Oh. You think a sex scene is still better than a chase scene. Well clearly you have VERY warped priorities. Chase scenes are instrumental in any action movie. They heighten tension, show off the actors skills, and reveal the lengths to which the characters are willing to go, either to escape or to catch someone.
The scene in question took six weeks to film and features French parkour expert Sébastien Foucan, who actually is the founder of the freerunning discipline. Blimey. The point is, it shows just how much of a badass this new Bond is. We’d seen him kill two blokes in an earlier scene, but this cemented him as the next 007. No matter how fast you run, or whatever tricks you try to pull, if James Bond is chasing you, your arse is grass.
4. *Sharply Inhales* Ooooooh!
Yeaaaaaaah. I- yeah. Um, wow, uh… yeah what can you say? Le Chiffre tortures James Bond by pummelling his testicles. Gentlemen, feel free to cross your legs to cover up the intense feeling of vulnerability you’re experiencing right now. God knows I am.
I don’t know about you, but I would sing like a canary at the Eurovision song contest if I was merely threatened with the possibility of this kind of punishment. But Bond doesn’t crack. Even though he is in UNBELIEVABLE agony, he doesn’t tell Le Chiffre a thing. He even goads him, the cocky bastard! Okay, poor choice of words there. Heavens to murgatroid.
3. Revenge is Best Served Cold
You’d think this would be his number one priority after Casino Royale, but I guess the plot of the movie had to come first. Nevertheless, after dealing with Quantum he finally tracks down the man ultimately responsible for Vesper’s death, an agent of Quantum who seduces female intelligence officers and pretends to be kidnapped so that Quantum can blackmail them.
After he finds the bastard doing the same thing to Stana Katic, it looks like he’s going to kill him. But instead he spares his life and has him arrested. After the confrontation, he drops Vespers necklace in the snow, finally moving on from his quest to avenge the woman he loved.
2. Cirque du Solace
Yep, there’s two chase scenes in this list. But this one’s a bit different. Whilst the chase in Casino Royale was a marathon over a long distance, this is more like… a Smash Bros. fight. I’m serious! That’s what it feels like. After double agent Mitchell attacks M, allowing Quantum operative Mr White to escape, Bond chases him into a building with some convenient construction taking place.
What follows is Bond and Mitchell duelling via scaffolding and ropes and pulleys, as they each try to get the upper hand. Falling and swinging around, it’d be funny if one slip up meant Bond’s death. See, in a fair fight, Bond has very few equals. But when the very environment is working against you?
1. End of an Era
At the place where Bond’s story began, M’s ended. Raoul Silva chases them both to Bond’s childhood home of Skyfall, in Scotland. Yeah, you didn’t know that, did you? James Bond isn’t actually English. In fact he’s half Scottish, half Swiss. Mind equals blown, right?
Anyhoo, after dispatching Silva’s men, Silva manages to get to M before Bond takes care of him. Sadly though, M is mortally wounded and dies in Bond’s arms, leaving Bond visibly distraught. This marked the end of Judy Dench‘s tenure as M. She played the role for seventeen years over seven films. And while Ralph Fiennes is a more than suitable replacement, the James Bond films will have something missing from them from now on.
But what do YOU think of this list. Is it a super squadron of secret agent secrets? Or a boring bin bag of Bond bits? Let us know in the comments or on Twitter! Meanwhile, I’m going to be waiting for Spectre and wondering why Christoph Waltz keeps getting cast as a villain. Seriously, we know he can play other roles! Branch out, man.