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The 2016 Superhero Olympics

Written by Mark Russell

It’s close to that time again. We will be turning to Rio de Janeiro to celebrate the 31st Superhero Olympic Games. Yes, this prestigious event brings together the finest superheroes from around to compete for the honour and glory of their respective countries. Set up over one-hundred years ago, the Superhero Olympics promotes fairness, equality, good will, and teamwork amongst our great heroes. London’s 2012 Superhero Olympics proved to be the most popular, with Team USA once again walking away with the most gold medals. But who shall win triumphant in 2016? Will Team USA win again, or will Team Asgard, Team Atlantis, or even the rising stars of Team Japan stand a chance? Below we’ll look at the different sports and the most likely winners.

Aquatics are bound to be very tense this year following the heated rivalry between the members of Team Atlantis, with Aquaman and Namor nearly coming to blows during the games. With swimming being the major contest in the aquatics category, it will be close to the wire at who shall come out on top. Aquaman is commonly considered the better swimmer, though Namor, who has been out of the limelight over the past four years, may make a surprise win and finally beat out his rival after years of equality. However, they may have competition from Korra of Team Four Nations, whose skills in both athletics and waterbending will make her a fierce opponent, as long as she doesn’t bend the other elements.

Archery seems to be a no brainer. Green Arrow and Hawkeye are always the favourites, with the former always winning at least a gold during the tournaments, and it didn’t help that Hawkeye was nearly ended disqualified after accidentally firing an incendiary arrow during the semi-finals. Another hopeful candidate to shake things up was Katniss Everdeen of Team Panem but she bowed out of the Olympics due to both family commitments and her dislike of being involved in spectator sports.

The athletics are likely to be a highlight of the Olympics this year, leading to a lot of variety in both sports and participants. Certain winners are already decided – Captain America of Team USA will champion the discus throw, and Thor of Asgard will ace the hammer throw, unless the Vision officially confirms his participation in the next few days. Tests of strength could go in any direction with the biggest turn out of athletes this year. From the Hulk, to Superman, Captain Marvel, Wonder Woman, She-Hulk, Supergirl, the Thing, and even Popeye could win the gold for Team USA, but could get competition from Goku or Vegeta in Team Japan, though Super Saiyan transformation has been banned for fairness. Gymnastics sees the return of 2012’s winner Spider-Man, alongside Nightwing, and newcomer, representing Team Wakanda, the Black Panther.

The Worldwide Marathon will definitely be too close to call. The Flash beat out his rival Quicksilver in 2012 by a millionth of a second. Both veterans of the sport will return to represent Team USA, joined by the young newcomer Speed, Yuki Nagato of Team Japan (sponsored by the S.O.S. Brigade), Sonic the Hedgehog of Team Christmas Island, Ruby Rose of Team Remnant (who is also participating in the pentathlon), and after much debate on his legitimacy, Blurr of Team Cybertron. Yesiree, this will be a hectic, fast-paced race, as you can imagine.

Cycling is certainly going to be a little restrictive this year due to revised rules on who can compete. 2012 saw the controversial appearance of Johnny Blaze, who won, but literally tore up the competition and set the track on fire. Blaze has respectively declined to return, leaving the door open for new competitors. The members of Team Japan look to be the favourites, including Kaneda and Haruko Haruhara, but one new entry to the Olympics for Team USA is Gogo Tomago, fresh from San Fransokyo, and has helped develop the technology to be used in the cycling. Does this give her an advantage? We’ll have to wait and see.

Equestrian sports has some fresh competition. The Black Knight of Team GB returns after several years of absence, but faces stiff opposition from the silent legend Link of Team Hyrule, who will also participate in the archery contest. Naturally, Team Equestria are banned from participating in this sport to avoid

In fencing, bets have been placed for members of Team Canada, Wolverine and Deadpool, to come out victorious, but waiting the wings will be a Spanish legend who hasn’t made an appearance at the Olympics since the 1990s: Master Zorro.

So, are you ready to support your home teams and favourite heroes? It is still a few weeks away, but rest assured, it is going to be a super two weeks. Oh, and don’t forget that the normal Olympics will be on television at some point.

Who would you like to see win the Superhero Olympics? If the superheroes were featured in the normal Olympics, could Usain Bolt stand a chance against the Flash? Leave a comment below or on our Twitter feed.

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Mark Russell

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