FINALLY! After years of plobbing on and on about how we need a She-Hulk movie or TV show, Marvel are finally developing one for Netflix. Joy of joys! There’s lots of rumours flying around about who will play the jade giantess, but I’m gonna stick to my guns and put who I’d want to play her on this list, despite the fact that I’ve long since given up on Marvel ever casting someone from one of these lists.
Having said that, this list was HARD! Finding a taller than average female actor that are more muscular than slim is challenging. It’s almost like Hollywood has some sort of bias against people who don’t necessary fit the standard definition of an arbitrarily defined body type. But that’s just crazy talk. Lets just dive right in. Here are the top six actors we want for She-Hulk.
DISCLAIMER! The following is my own opinion. So shut it.
6. Ronda Rousey
It could work! Maybe? Think about it. She’s already ripped like the jeans of a teen star in the 90’s. She knows how to fight. She’s done some acting in stellar examples of cinematic brilliance like Entourage… um… and Furious 7… ah… Expendables 3?
Okay, maybe she’s not the best choice for the role. I’m just thinking out of the box here. I mean, Dwayne Johnson was a wrestler and he’s a great acto- HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I couldn’t. I tried and I just couldn’t. Alright, moving on.
5. Monique Ganderton
You’re probably thinking right now: “Who?”. But bear with me for a mo, I’ve thought this through. What’s better than an actor that knows how to fight? An actor that knows how to fake fight. In addition to being an actor, Monique is a stuntwoman, and she’s got a pretty incredible list of credits. From I, Robot to Suicide Squad, she’s fake kicked all kinds of fake arse.
But she’s also managed some impressive acting roles, from television shows like Supernatural, Smallville, and Sleepy Hollow (try saying that three times fast), to films like Cabin in the Woods, American Ultra and X Men: Apocalypse. With all that combined, clearly she’s no stranger to the superhero genre. Perhaps it’s time for her to break out as a leading lady?
4. Gabrielle Union
I swear I’m not putting her on the list because her smile kindles a small ember of warmth within my cold, black, dead heart. Promise.
No but seriously, she’s a good actor. From side gigs in She’s All That and 10 Things I Hate About You, to… HEY! What do you think you’re doing? Pay attention! I saw you. The minute I mentioned She’s All That, you went into a 90’s nostalgia coma! Your eyes glazed over and you started thinking about Nickelodeon, Matchbox Twenty, and whatever the hell pogs are. There’s a full decade separating the 90’s from us, deal with it!
*Ahem*. Gabrielle is currently starring in the very well received series Being Mary Jane, which was not, as I was led to believe, a live action adaptation of Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane. Still good though.
3. Melanie Scrofano
Stop what you’re doing. Go and watch the first series of Wynonna Earp. You’ve already seen it? Go and watch it again. Done? You agree she should be She-Hulk? Yes? Good. I shouldn’t need to explain any further because you’ve all seen Wynonna Earp. Right? RIGHT?
Wynonna Earp is brilliant. Melanie Scrofano is brilliant. Wayhaught is brilliant. If you’d watched the show when I told you, you would know what that meant! Why can’t you people follow simple instructions?!?
2. Naomie Harris
Moneypenny needs to get her own show people! She’s a phenomenal actor. I bet you didn’t even know she was Tia Dalma from Pirates of the Caribbean, did you? She just DISAPPEARED in that role. Hell, she’s worked with Danny Boyle twice! Once on 28 Days Later, and again in the stage production of Frankenstein. Y’know the one where Jonny Lee Miller and Benedict Cumberbatch alternated the role of Frankenstein and his monster?
Plus, PLUS… she played Winnie Mandela in Mandela: The Long Walk to Freedom, and when she saw the film, the actual Winnie Mandela said that it was: “the first time she felt truly captured on film”. This is a woman who has been portrayed in one form of media or another over five times. And this was the actor that nailed it. What more can you say?
1. Angie Harmon
Let’s face it, you knew this was coming. Any actor that would openly geek out about a character they want to play, even when there are no talks about a movie or TV show being made deserves a shot at the part. I think I’ve made my point.
But what do YOU think of this list? Is it a sensational send up of She-Hulks? Or a gargantuan groan of gamma bombs? Tell us in the comments or on Twitter! Maybe now Marvel will keep listening to me and make a Moon Knight show! Oh the possibilities! I FEEL SO VALIDATED!!!