Features

Superhero Olympics 2012

Written by David Molofsky
And so the 2012 Superhero Olympics have come to a close. It was another stellar year, with athletes from all over the world joining in the games, including competitors from Atlantis, Asgard, and Skrullos for the very first time! Let’s take a look back at some of this year’s biggest winners.
The Hulk took home his first gold, beating out reigning champion Superman in Mountain Lifting. Things went a little differently in the women’s category, with She-Hulk losing out to both Wonder Woman and Supergirl.
Over in Track and Field, the Flash beat out Quicksilver by a microsecond in the Around the World Race, but was put to shame during the Sprints. As expected, Thor earned Team Asgard’s only gold of the year in the Hammer Throw, while Team USA star Captain America easily won the Discus Throw. First-time Hurdler Kitty Pryde dominated the competition, setting a new world record for the 100 meters. And everyone will remember the heated debate surrounding the Human Torch’s score in the Pole Vault after he burned the bar to ashes in his final jump. Despite several challenges, the Torch held onto his Gold, becoming the first of the Fantastic 4 to do so.
Things went from hot to cold in the Aquatics Center this year, with Atlanteans Aquaman and Namor taking home gold and silver in virtually every event. However, the royal Atlanteans were far from gracious in their races, receiving several warnings for unsportsmanlike behaviour. After coming in second in the 200 metre butterfly, Namor was overheard calling winning teammate Aquaman “useless, fish-breathed scum” and was very nearly disqualified. The only miss in Team Atlantis’ perfect record was a narrow victory for Team USA’s Cannonball in the high dive.
One of the biggest surprises of the year was Gymnastics favorite Nightwing losing the gold in the All-Around Individual to New York native Spider-Man. Despite taking an impressive lead in the Pommel Horse, Spider-Man ultimately pulled ahead with some incredible scores on the Rings, Horizontal Bar, and Vault. Hank “Beast” McCoy, Spider-Man’s long-time mentor and coach, credited Spider-Man’s rigorous training schedule and spider-like agility for the Cinderella Story upset.
Of course, several events had virtually no surprises. Green Arrow beat out Hawkeye in Archery as expected, while Cyclops took an easy gold in Skeet. Jean Grey and Cable dominated the tennis courts, winning both individual and mixed doubles events.
And, as they have for the past 20 years, Team Canada took home the gold in Doubles Badminton with their unbeatable team of Wolverine and Deadpool.

About the author

David Molofsky

David is the Owner & Editor-in-Chief of AP2HYC.