3. Super Know The Answer To Every Trivial Pursuit Question Power
![rsz_superhero-poker[1]](https://ap2hyc.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/rsz_superhero-poker1.jpg)
This is an obvious one. If there’s one way to defeat a villain, it’s at trivial pursuit. I’m fairly certain that’s how Onslaught was stopped. And seeing as there’s no hero in DC’s line up that could possibly know the answer to EVERY question, it’s imperative that Superman develop this power. Before it’s too late. As long as he doesn’t brag about it afterwards. Yeah, okay Supes. You know the capital of Uruguay. Good for you. Don’t be a dick about it.
2. Super Bill Paxton Power
![bill-paxton-weird-science[1]](https://ap2hyc.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/bill-paxton-weird-science1.jpg)
The ability to summon Bill Paxton at any moment.
Yeah.
There’s got to be a ton of uses for that. Like……………
Okay, I’ve got nothing.
1. Super Turn Into Any Vegetable Power
![rsz_supervegbig[1]](https://ap2hyc.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/rsz_supervegbig1.jpg)
Not just carrots. Not just potatoes. Parsnips too! Oh the possibilities! Oh the wonder! Oh the total non-stupidity of the idea! Not to mention the non-stupidity of giving a character that already is massively overpowered with very few vulnerabilities yet another superpower, just for the sake of giving him another power!
It’s not like they could, I don’t know, DEVELOP him as a character? What are you, high? No, no, no, no! It’s all about lumping him with another power! Some people might say that giving extra powers to a guy who can already leap a tall building in a single bound, fly, see what lies behind your knickers, fry your face, bend solid steel and LIVE IN SPACE… doesn’t need any more powers! Well, those people are clearly mentally deficient! And should be ignored and shunned.
It’s not like DC have been trying to make Superman more successful or relatable for YEARS without much joy. Nope. And clearly, this is NOT an obvious ploy to boost comic sales. THIS IS CLEARLY NOT AN OBVIOUS CON BEING DONE BY A COMPANY THAT HAS BEEN PRETTY MUCH CREATIVLY BANKRUPT FOR YEARS NOW! AND CLEARLY, I AM BEING SARCASTIC!!! CAN YOU TELL?!?!?!? AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!
Hello. This is Mr. Meridew’s therapist, Dr. Williams. Unfortunately, Mr Meridew suffered a rage blackout shortly after writing the article above. He was found screaming outside DC’s corporate headquarters dressed as a character called Poison Ivy, threatening to decapitate Batman’s butler Alfred, who turned out to be a very frightened Japanese tourist. I have been instructed by my patient to finish this article, while he awaits trial. I have advised him to plead insanity. Anyway, what do you think of the list? At this point, Mr Meridew would use alliteration in some creative manner to describe the list, but I’m no good at that sort of thing, so just let AP2HYC know what you think in the comments or on Twitter. Thank you for reading. Sincerely, Dr. C. J. Williams. PhD.
