3. The Coon
There is an animal that lives by night, searches the trashcans and cleans out the garbage. To clean out the trashcan of society he has chosen to become more than a man. He’s the hero the town of South Park needs. He is… The Coon! Actually, he’s Eric Cartman in a racoon mask. And South Park doesn’t really need him. He’s not even a hero, just a brat who loves the spotlight.
I’ve always been a fan of Trey Parker and Matt Stone‘s unique brand of satire, and it really shines in what is essentially a parody of super heroes, especially Watchmen, The Spirit and that guy who dresses up as a flying rodent. You know… whatshisface. Anyway, The Coon merely thinks he is the saviour of the people of South Park. In reality, he’s an egotistical glory hog who is only being a superhero for the attention in brings, going so far as to ally himself with Cthulhu, of all people, to rid the world of hippies, the city of San Francisco and Justin Bieber. Actually, that last one…
2. The Tick
This next one is yet another parody of superheroes that nevertheless ended up being named the 187th greatest comic book character of all time by Wizard Magazine and the 57th greatest comic book character of all time by IGN. High praise indeed. With superhuman strength, durability, and the unique ability called drama power (the ability to make any situation more dramatic), The Tick is a dim-witted protector of the innocent, protecting the inhabitants of a city called… The City.
Originally created as a mascot for a comic book shop, The Tick expanded into a comic book series and later a cartoon series and later a live action series starring Patrick Warburton. And how did his very first story kick off? With him escaping a mental institution of course! Apparently, The Tick has no memory of his life beyond being a superhero due to repeated blows to the head. He doesn’t even have a secret identity. That’s cool.
With The Tick frequently coming across other parodies of superheroes and always charging into battle with his signature battle cry (“Spooooooooooon!”), this makes for a delightfully absurd superhero.
1. Squirrel Girl
You think I’m going to make a joke here, don’t you? You think I’m going to do what everybody else does and make fun of her. Well, I’m not. Do you want to know why? Because. YOU… DON’T… F**K… WITH… SQUIRREL GIRL! You’d think that with the ability to communicate with squirrels she wouldn’t be too much of a problem for any super villain, wouldn’t you? Wrong! She has gone up against such people as Deadpool, MODOK, Wolverine, Thanos and Doctor Doom and come out standing. More than standing, she kicked their arses! She is NOT to be messed with.
Created by writer Will Murray and a legend among artists, Steve Ditko, she is a member of the Great Lakes Avengers, a superhero team known for having heroes with bizarre powers, Squirrel Girl’s first appearance was when she saved Iron Man from Doctor Doom with her squirrel army. How humiliating for him. More recently, she moved to New York to become the super powered nanny for Jessica Jones and Luke Cage’s daughter. Wow.
I think it’s safe to say that, despite all appearances, Squirrel Girl has somehow endeared herself to the superhero community. She is the weirdest, most bizarre animal themed superhero… and she is a complete and utter bad-ass!
But what do YOU think? Have we left anybody off this list? Are there even weirder animal themed superheroes out there? Are penguins secretly plotting to overthrow humanity? That last one is just a little theory of mine. Why not let us know in the comments?
Seriously, I think they’re up to something!
