Features

Superheroes Who Deserve to Win the Lottery

In the new, highly-anticipated Justice League movie, Bruce Wayne sets out to assemble a team of unlikely superheroes to help fight yet another supervillain threatening to destroy the world as we know it.

That kind of requirement effort takes resources, and much like his Marvel counterpart – Tony Stark – Wayne has pockets deep enough to finance such an elaborate endeavor. Yes, some superheroes are swimming in cash and can afford to lead a life of leisure, develop the coolest gadgets and go on wild adventures with their like-minded comic-book pals.

Still, no one seems to pay attention to those superheroes who protect and serve, but are barely making ends meet. You wouldn’t see them sitting around, betting on the Powerball results on Lottoz UK, but come to think of it – winning the lottery could seriously help some of them out. They might be doing wonders for the world when they’re donning their capes and tights, but we’re seriously concerned about what they’ll live off when retirement comes knocking.

Here are five that could really use a lucky lottery break.

Superman

An unlikely choice, for sure, because, well, he’s Superman. He’s also buddies with Bruce Wayne who can possibly help him out, and in the new Justice League movie he’s presumably dead (or is he?), so he might not need any cash at all. But… under normal circumstances, Clark Kent is a foreigner, an outsider to our world, and, well, a reporter. The Daily Planet was never a big deal, and journalism in general isn’t what it used to be. Print is kinda dead, you know? So, while the Man of Steel might have had a kick-ass pad back on Krypton, Clark lives is a small apartment earning a small salary. You’ll never hear him complaining, but we’re sure he’d love a little extra cash.

Spider-Man

No big shock here. Peter Parker is dirt poor and his stint as a freelance photographer is a joke. Peter probably has too much integrity to become a sleazy paparazzi so he’s missing out on a lot of Kardashian action and potentially decent payouts. Later in his arc, Peter goes on to become a high school science teacher, and we all know how well they’re compensated (eye roll). With Aunt May growing old and in need of extra care, Spidey is perhaps the superhero who most deserves a little lottery love.

The Hulk

Anger management issues are can always stir up troubles in the workplace, but when you turn into a green giant who smashes everything in sight when someone looks at you the wrong way – that makes you unemployable.

Dr. Bruce Banner had a good thing going when he was working as a physicist, but that freak accident that made him The Hulk, pretty much killed his career. It’s not enough that he turns into a monster every time he’s pissed, he also finds himself half naked in middle of nowhere every single time this happens. It’s terribly tricky to maintain a wardrobe under such circumstances – or a normal life for that matter.

Luke Cage and Jessica Jones

Luke Cage might have super-strength, but not in the money-making department. He’s just perpetually broke. His Heroes for Hire business with Iron Fist was an ill-fated attempt to capitalize on his superpowers and he’s basically just a really strong dude with street-smarts and no cash. But hey, his lady love, Jessica Jones, also doesn’t have a dime to her name. As long as they have each other, right? Wrong. These two are super cool but are clueless with money, they actually take donations for stopping crimes. It’s a “hey lady, we just saved your life, can you spare a few cents?” kind of situation. Since these two really suck at leveraging their super-cool powers into a profitable exitance, they could totally use a nice little jackpot to tidy them up.

Green Lantern

The Green Lantern Corps has members that are doing well of themselves when they’re off duty. Kyle Rayner isn’t one of them. While Hal Jordan is an Air Force pilot, and John Stewart is an architect, Kyle is a freelance graphic designer. Yes, the life of an artist is a tough one, and Kyle might be gifted in his craft, but hardly a success. For a struggling designer, he still found it reasonable to move from one super expensive city – LA- to another – NYC. That could not have been a smart move as far as his bank account was concerned.

About the author

Lizzy Bennet

Leave a Reply