Soooooo. The trailer for Star Wars: The Unnecessary Sequel That Disney Are Only Making So That All Their Executives Can Each Have Their Own Vault Of Money To Dive Into Like Scrooge McDuck is out, a year before the film is due to be released. *Unenthusiastically* Yay. At this point, Disney are basically conductors, shoving us onto the hype train. Make no mistake, I love Star Wars but… we don’t NEED it, guys! I mean, I hope the film is good. I want it to be good! But it’s just so not needed it hurts! Still, it was pretty cool to see the Millennium Falcon again.
And it got me thinking. There have been so many iconic spaceships out there that have captured our imagination over the years. Wouldn’t it be cool if someone were to compile a list of some of the best spaceships the world of fiction has ever made? And then I realised: “Holy crap! All I ever do is make lists of stuff! It’s basically my raison d’etre, aside from sending hate mail to DC and whatever soulless Ringwraith is running Disney at the moment.”.
So here’s a list of the Top 10 Fictional Spaceships. You can thank me later.
DISCLAIMER! The following is my own personal opinion. If you don’t like it, then you should sit in the corner and think long and hard about what you’re doing with your life.
10. Eagle 5 (Spaceballs)
May the Schwartz be with you! There are epic Science Fiction films, and then there are epic Science Fiction Parody films! Yes, Spaceballs is a classic comedy, and whilst I considered putting Spaceball 1 on this list I decided to go with Eagle 5 for two reasons. One, introducing Spaceball 1 would take a long, long, long, long, long, long time (Geddit? Oh, just watch the movie!). And two, if you had to pick one of the two to have, we’d all pick Eagle 5, right? I mean, it’s a spaceship that’s a motorhome! That’s the dream!
Piloted by the intrepid Lone Starr and Barf, the Eagle 5 was based off of a 1986 Winnebago Chieftain 33 and believe me, it has all the mod cons, as well as the ability to traverse a giant robot’s head. It was a cool joke, and an even cooler idea for a spaceship. *Looks at the audience* Everybody got that?
9. Red Dwarf (Red Dwarf)
♫ It’s cold outsiiiide, there’s no kind of atmosphere, I’m all alone, more or less. Let me flyyyyyyyy, far away from here. Fun, fun, fuuuuuun, in the sun, sun, suuuuuun. ♫ Heh. I’ll never get bored of that song. Yep, it’s the Jupiter Mining Corporation ship Red Dwarf which stands out as probably being the largest spaceship on this list, with it being 6 miles long, 4 miles tall and 3 miles wide. Controlled by a senile computer program called Holly, Red Dwarf was lost in space (Wow. That phrase sounds like a good idea for a campy TV series and a stupid movie starring Gary Oldman) for millions of years.
Currently, it’s occupants include the last human in existence, Dave Lister, a humanoid cat, named Cat, an android, Kryten and a hologram, Arnold Rimmer. The fact that the ship is so big allows for a lot of useful sections of the ship that you couldn’t get on smaller vessels, such as botanical gardens, karaoke club and a wine bar. The ship has enough food to last 30,000 years but there is only one After Eight mint left and everybody is too polite to take it.
8. The Bebop (Cowboy Bebop)
♫ I think it’s time to blow this scene. Get everybody and their stuff together. Three, two, one, let’s jam! ♫ There’s another theme song that’s gonna be stuck in my head. Arguably one of the best Anime ever made, Cowboy Bebop kind of defies description. And I’ve tried! I’ve tried describing the series to people who have never heard of it or don’t know what it’s about and nothing I say does it justice. Just saying “It’s about these bounty hunters in space.” doesn’t even begin to cover it!
But what about the Bebop? A lot of people would say that it’s not as important as the characters or even the overall themes of the series. Well, I think it’s more important than you’d think. See, all the main characters are bounty hunters but they were all something different before that until they experienced some kind of trauma and ended up on the Bebop. Except maybe Ein the super intelligent Corgi, he was always just a Corgi. You can see why I have trouble explaining this show.
The point I’m trying to make is that the Bebop itself was once something different. Apparently it was an interplanetary fishing trawler before one of the characters, Jet Black (No, really, that’s his name), bought and repurposed it. It’s this theme of change and renewal that manifests in all the characters, including the ship, that makes it so important. That, and it looks wicked cool!
7. Galactica (Battlestar Galactica)
I debated whether or not I should put the Galactica on this list or the Colonial Viper fighter. But since the name of the Galactica is in the flipping title, I guess it makes more sense. Not to mention the fact that I don’t really care about Battlestar Galactica. It’s true, I just don’t care! I did try to get into the 2003 series after I noticed a disturbing amount of my friends use the word “frak” (I thought they were talking about oil or something at first), but I lost interest after the 3rd time it was revealed that a character was a Cylon. Was nobody on that bloody ship human? Was anybody ever human? Am I human? SEE WHAT THIS SERIES IS DOING TO ME!
So, the Galactica. Now, there are technically two versions of it. The original one from the 70’s and the 2003 version. They both look different and have different systems plus other technical aspects so it’s difficult to get an anchor on what makes the Galactica so special. But there is one thing that they both have in common. They are both the hope of the human race. The premise of both series is that humanity is nearly wiped out by the Cylons and the survivors all end up on the Galactica. It’s a home to hundreds and the fate of the human race rests on it. I’d say that makes it noteworthy, wouldn’t you?