10 Comic Book Characters We Will Probably Never See on Film

7. Hypno-Hustler

Oh, good! Another reject form the era of disco! This will be fun, he said through gritted teeth.

So, with all the Spider-Man villains that have either been used or will be used in the upcoming films, I can’t help but wonder if they’re going to eventually run out of good villains. That said, even if they do, I doubt the powers that be in Hollywood would go this low. At least I hope they don’t. Despite being essentially a Z list member of Spider-Man’s rogues gallery, Hypno-Hustler has gained a certain amount of infamy over the years due to… well, LOOK AT HIM! How could anybody take this guy seriously?

First appearing in The Spectacular Spider-Man #24 in 1978, Hypno-Hustler tried to rob a nightclub using his hypnotic powers. Of course he was foiled by Spider-Man. Obviously. Aquaman could beat this guy. Spider Plant-Man could beat this guy. HOWARD THE DUCK COULD BEAT THIS GUY! Oh yeah, I went there! Possibly, Hypno-Hustler (God, I feel lame just typing his name!) has picked up on that as at one point he attended a meeting of Vil-Anon, a twelve step program to help super villains become law abiding citizens. I just hope he had a good sponsor, I’d hate for him to relapse.


6. The Legion of Superpets

Even the name… even the name sounds ridiculous and brain meltingly bad! This could only be a bunch of incredibly odd DC characters. Specifically, Krypto the Superdog, Streaky the Supercat, Comet the Superhorse and Beppo the Supermonkey. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to go away for a while and have myself a bit of a cry.


I’m back. Sorry, it’s just… why? Who in their right minds would… they are bloody ANIMALS with little Superman capes and we are supposed to take them seriously? This is part of DC canon? And it’s not like this was way back in the golden age, oh no, this group was formed in 1962.The same year in which Marvel created The Incredible Hulk, Doctor Doom, Thor and Spider-Man. Marvel was coming up with new and exciting character, DC had the Superpets. Marvel was looking into different and unique ways of storytelling, DC had the Superpets. Marvel was revolutionising the comics industry, DC had the bloody Superpets.

In my mind, the Superpets represent everything that is wrong with DC comics. I hope they will NEVER appear on film. Frankly, I think that comic book fans deserve more than that.


5. Guardian

Oh, Canada. You really don’t have it easy, do you? You gave the world Jim CarreyRyan Gosling and Leslie Neilson, yet all people talk about is Justin Beiber. You have some of the cleanest cities in the world, yet all people focus on is how polite you all supposedly are. Wolverine, one of the coolest super heroes in living memory, is in fact Canadian, yet all people remember about you is this guy. The Canadian version of Captain America. On behalf of the rest of the world… we’re sorry. It’s bad enough that you’re referred to as “America’s Hat”; you don’t deserve this.

The leader of Canadian super hero team Alpha Flight and part of the clandestine government defence organisation Department H, James MacDonald Hudson a.k.a. Guardian was created by comic book legends John Byrne and Chris Claremont. Remember that joke I made about him being the Canadian equivalent of Captain America? Turns out that he was created with that idea in mind. Hence why he’s got the whole Canadian Maple Leaf motif going on.

Actually, this guy has some pretty cool powers. He has increased speed and strength, a force field, energy blasts and can fly. Hot damn! So why will he probably never make it to the big screen? He has a maple leaf on his chest! Nobody can wear that with any kind of dignity. Sorry, Canada.


4. The Wonder Twins

OH COME ON! DC… do you want me to hate you? You must do. Why else would you throw all these stupid characters at me?

For those of you blessed with not knowing who these characters are, they were created for the laughably stupid cartoon series Super Friends. That’s right, the Wonder Twins are one of those characters that were made for a television series and later incorporated into a comic canon. And what is possibly the worst thing about them in the series? The writers never bothered to give them a backstory. With all the other characters they didn’t really need to because they were already established characters in their own comic books, but the Wonder twins were original characters! We don’t know who they are so you have to explain them! GAH!

Eventually they were given a backstory in the Super Friends comic, but that is no excuse for a sheer lazy introduction. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, they were given a sidekick for no good reason! But not just any sidekick, a space monkey named Gleek. Okay, two things. Firstly, what is DC’s obsession with animal versions of superheroes? Secondly… why? Why did they need a monkey sidekick? Weren’t they already sort of the sidekicks of the Super Friends already? Why did you have to give a sidekick to the sidekicks? Sidekickception!

While the Twins have appeared in live action on Smallville (in a rather lame episode), I’m still praying that they never make it to film. And the (I can only hope) hoax staged by WB last November isn’t helping my blood pressure one bit!

About the author

Scott Meridew